Goodbye Old Friend
by Pete Riedesel
Mourning.
While I'm not exactly sure about each step in the process, I do know being
depressed is a part. And I'm depressed. I've lost my loyal companion, an
integral part of my outdoor angling experience who will no longer be
accompanying me.
I've been reflecting on how important my time spent in pursuit of fish is to me
as I wallow in this self-induced state. So often fishing is the exact panacea
for what ails me.
During the turmoil of my youth, time on the water provided a peace that made the
rest of my life tolerable. As a young adult fishing provided a time to gain
clear perspective on the many confusing and troublesome issues faced finding my
place in a complicated world. Now, in mid-life, angling outings provide
life-extending stress relief from the burdens of adulthood. Family
responsibilities, financial concerns, health issues, and all other serious
matters magically lift each time I venture out. Emotionally and spiritually
refreshed upon return, I willingly reconnect with life's challenges. Hanging
close by, my companion was always ready when the time came to fish.
Pondering like this, about my favorite pastime, brightens my spirit momentarily,
but inevitably recollections of my departed partner, who will no longer be with
me on these spiritual journeys, drags me back down.
How could it be? It seems such a short time ago we first went out together.
Pictures on the wall and more in photo albums chronicle moments of success when
large fish were captured. More too, precious memories of my children engaged in
their first fishing experiences, proud father and confidant alongside.
Not everyone shared my affection and loyalty to my friend. Although I pretended
not to hear or chose to ignore certain comments, family and friends could
sometimes be cruel when discussing my ever present first mate. And while I'd
have to admit that he wasn't much to look at and did have a rather unusual odor,
there was so much more to him that those who made fun couldn't possibly
appreciate.
If only those who teased could understand. He was there for all the long,
tedious car rides, for all the inclement weather, always bringing comfort and
good luck.
I admit at times I have ridiculed others' constant companions. I found myself
regularly embarrassed by my dad's protector. Ever so gently I'd point out how
people were laughing at him for including his friend on each adventure. He just
smiled knowingly. Now more than then, I understand his response.
Still, in clear moments during my funk, I have to acknowledge there have been
others before him for which my feelings were just as powerful. I know time will
bring acceptance of my good friend's inevitable demise. And maybe, just maybe,
someday soon I'll be able to put on that new fishing hat my kids bought me for
Christmas, and thank them for throwing out my battered old friend.
© Pete Riedesel - All Rights Reserved. Duplication and/or distribution without permission is prohibited.
When fishing, always wear a hat or some other protection from the sun.
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